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Golf Truisms

* Golf balls are like eggs ~ they're white. They're sold by the dozen
and a week later you have to buy more.
* A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a
professional golfer to buy anything in there.
* It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his
divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
* When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up
at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?
* Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though
your cup runneth and moveth over.
* It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand,
you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat
hot dogs while performing brain surgery.
* A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer
from giving up the game.
* Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
* Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you
always end up praying a lot.
* A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.
* That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about
skipping out on lawn work.
* If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
* If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six
or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
* You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway!
A sweatshirt will do just fine!
* Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent
inability to count past the number 5.
* It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not
choosy about which fairway.
* If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most
everyone would play better.
* The greatest sound in golf is the Wosh, Wosh, Wosh, of your
opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway.
* A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest.
They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a
medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.
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