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| Golf Truisms * Golf balls are like eggs ~ they're white. They're sold by the dozen and a week later you have to buy more. * A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there. * It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps. * When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard? * Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over. * It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery. * A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game. * Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either. * Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot. * A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you. * That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work. * If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life. * If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight. * You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine! * Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5. * It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not choosy about which fairway. * If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better. * The greatest sound in golf is the Wosh, Wosh, Wosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway. * A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby. |
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